There’s been things happening in my life recently that have caused me to have some feelings and i want to reflect and think about those things here. I’m concerned that I’m becoming too easily offended and turning into a snowflake1.

Stranger in a Strange Land

I’ve been reading Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein and there’s an air of casual misogyny to it. The way the character Jill is spoken to/about is objectifying and demeaning. The male characters she deals with are the “enlightened” types who aren’t crude or sexist, yet the consistently reduce her to her physical attributes while congratulating themselves on their progressiveness.

It was not the delightful figure-eight in which her pert fanny waggled when she walked, nor even the still pleasanter and very mammalian view from the other direction - he was not, thank God, the permanently infantile type, interested solely in the size of the mammary glands! no, it was Jill herself he loved.

–Ben Caxton (Stranger in a Strange Land)

Apparently, there’s another part where she says 9/10 times if a woman gets raped its her fault2. I found that out when I googled “Misogyny in Stranger in a Strange Land” to see if anyone shared the same opinion.

Now those sentiments strike me as wrong and insensitive. Why do we have to speak about women that way? I know if I was a woman, I wouldn’t like it. The feelings I’m having about how women are represented in the book have massively slowed down my momentum – I keep having to put the book down and think, but am i too easily offended?

Gender Reveal

I also went to a gender reveal recently, and we found out the baby was a boy (you guys should know that I’m black and most of my friends are white), and we were throwing out joke baby names, which was fun, but they started throwing out names like Tyrone, Lamar or D’Brickashaw. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think D’Brickashaw is a bit ridiculous myself, but i just didn’t feel like those were their jokes to make.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson in a Jets jersey smiling

Fun Fact: Tyrone is actually a kingdom in Gaelic Ireland and Lamar is French3.

When something like that happens and I start feeling slightly offended, i reflexively check myself: “Is it that deep?” “Am i reading too much into it?” “Am i being a snowflake?” and most of the time I just let it go, but recently I’m not sure anymore.

Identity Politics and Trans People….

I’ve been a Democrat all of my adult life, but I was never a fan of the identity politics, it seemed like a distraction to me, but recently more and more different types of people are popping up in my life, so I’m doing what comes natural to me. Slowing down a bit to learn my pronouns and address people as they want to be addressed and thinking before using pronouns, but again does that make me a snowflake?

I’m being polite and respectful like I was raised to be. Why is being polite and respectful liberal? I thought the South prided itself on its politeness. When your friends mom serves you some disgusting tuna and noodle casserole that they found on Pinterest, don’t you say “thank you for the meal Mrs. Johnson” or are you calling it like you see it?

Nasty looking tuna noodle casserole with some out of place peas too.

A gross looking tuna noodle casserole.

I’m seriously confused. Are y’all really not polite & respectful? Who raised y’all? Why is being kind political?

Who cares what you or I think about someone else’s gender? What really is gender anyway? Sex is something biological, but gender is a social construct. Just like how the most extroverted person you know will tell you they’re introverted and shy. It doesn’t matter how you feel about what they outwardly display, it’s about what they feel inside.

How many is too many?

I don’t know. I’ve never been that political and I don’t want to be a crazy leftist, but I’m starting to have feelings and taking offense to an increasing amount of situations, and it’s been really ruining the Just a chill guy vibes I aspire to.

A human-like dog wearing a grey sweater, blue jeans, and red sneakers, giving off a chill expression

I’m not sure, but one day I may want to run for office, so sometimes I try to listen to both sides to see where a reasonable compromise would be, and I think when I look at myself through the lens of the right, I am a snowflake, but I don’t know how to stop it.

So, here I am asking the internet:

  • If you had a daughter would you care that she was only described by her body parts?

  • Are you polite at all or is that too woke?

  • What’s the line between being thoughtful and being oversensitive?

  • Am I really a snowflake?

  1. Snowflake (slang) - Wikipedia ↩

  2. The misogyny of ‘Stranger in a Strange Land takes on new shame ↩

  3. “Black Sounding” names and their surprising history ↩